Adults often think that stress only exist in the Adult’s “Corporate World”.
Often, adults fail to understand that children need help in learning to cope with the stress they face in everyday life too such as dealing with their school work, relationship with friends and classmates, relationship with their parents and more.
Teaching and helping your child to deal with stress is important and below are some ways by Helene Goldnadel that we could look into :
(1) To decrease a child’s stress, adults need to be observant of the basic sign of stress found in their child. Some common symtoms that parents could take note of includes: bedwetting, complaints of a pounding heart, stomachache, gradual decline or poor performance in school, demand for constant perfection, downgrading of self-esteem, extreme worry, irritability, lying, nightmares, overeating, poor sleep or eating habits, teeth grinding, difficulty getting along with friends and withdrawal from social activities.
Ask your child what is wrong, and then confront the problem head on. Sometimes the smallest things can cause added stress and it will affect their grades. Find the source of stress, such as the presence of a bully or a child that is calling them names, or perhaps they just don’t like to walk to school by themselves – find the situation that is causing your child to lose sleep or have a bad day and help them solve that problem.
(2) Parenting is difficult as you are going to be put to the test with every child, with many situations in life. Keeping your patience and to tackle problems with a calm mind is all a part of being a good parent. To keep your calm and to build your patience, you can count to ten, before screaming, you could drink a glass of water, before finishing the argument or you could send the child to their room while you gather your composure and your thoughts before getting out of control. Remaining in control will prevent you from saying things you don’t mean, and from doing things that you don’t really want to happen. Remember : Be reasonable to your children no matter what wrong they have done and be fair if you think that punishment is inevitable.
(3) Anger can be a problem for a child of any age. Anger is expressed in many ways. If you find your child is punching things, or is throwing many objects when he or she is angry, teach the child other ways of expressing their anger. Teach the child to use the punching bag, to run on the treadmill, to talk to you about what is wrong, or to face their problems head on. Allowing a child to feel anger, and to keep pent up anger inside of their mind is only going to make the feelings of anger grow. Always try to seek and provide methods of expressing and venting the child’s anger for good growth.
(4) A child’s room is their own little castle. Respect the privacy of your child by allowing them to decorate and use their space, as their creative mind would like. Although you may not like the color of the paint, or you may not like the best up against the wall, the child has a creative imagination, and exploring it is not going to actually ‘hurt’ anything. The colors of paint can be painted over, and the furniture can be moved again later, but by allowing a child to decorate their own room, you are also giving them a little more freedom and respect in their own life they will remember for a lifetime.
(5) Listen to the teacher who is involved in your child’s life. As a young child, the growth and development of a child is watched by your child’s teacher. A child will be spending a large portion of their time in school and a teacher is going to be able to watch and report to you how your child interacts with others in class and at play. A teacher will relay information to you if he/she feels your child requires extra help or may be heading down a path you would not desire involving behavior or stressful situations.
(6) Always put schoolwork before playtime. The best time for homework is in the time-frame of when the child comes home from school, and before they head out with their friends to the playground. This is a great boosting factor to get the homework done and completed, so they can get outside and play. After a child comes back from being out with their friends or out playing on the playground all evening, they are more likely to be too tired to do their homework without a fight.
All these will directly or indirectly helps you and your child cultivate the lifestyle to manage stress they experience in ways that they can feel more confidence in themselves and have a better relationship with you.
Last but not least as Helene Goldnadel says, be generous with hugs and kisses or and signs of affection. Your child needs love and understanding more than ever during times of stress.